And by midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.

Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer

I really want to see Julie & Julia and the reason I want to see it is because, I believe, I’m drawn to the story about women who feel like they need a steady purpose in their lives. I have a purpose, something I am suppose to do and that is go to college. So, I am in college, just finished my first year thinking I wanted to major in Psychology and minor in Mass Communications just to go into advertising at the end of those four years. Does that make sense?

“Why don’t you just major in advertising?”

“Because [pause] I’m interested in psychology as well.”


Oh. And then Oh! That ‘oh’ means I don’t want to go into advertising anymore and that I don’t have an inkling of an idea of what I want to do! What do I want to do with my life? I am pretty sure I am not the only one in this situation; I am very sure.

Isn’t that just crazy? We’re expected to pick something right now, after 18 years of youth, and just go for it without having actually experienced it. We don’t have to experience it, I suppose. We just follow our passion. Well, I don’t know what major I am passionate for. I’m not really sure what I am passionate about any way. And then with no passion, I feel I lack ambition as well. That’s my dilemma.

What I need is a machine that will allow me to go to the many possible futures I may have. That machine should also let me stay for about a week thus letting me decide if that direction of “possible life” will be hell or bliss. Please?


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